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The angels that dance around in our minds look like the pretty dolls from our childhood days, but what about the demons? The devils? Why do we know them as someone who will scare us? There is a root to this fear factor that is imbibed in us from childhood.
From small fears that grow to be big ones. Firstly, I want to say, that we have all the ability in us to overpower the fear. Kill the fear. Accept it. Live with it. It’s our choice. But there’s no way we can run away from it. And no way we should.
Let me try to get to the bottom of it. As a child, if we were naughty or disobedient, we were scolded, punished and even shrouded by unknown fears. Those little fears of being scolded for petty reasons at times left a mark on many of our minds. Which again, we did not realize as children.
- Hey baby, if you do not eat properly, the crow on the window will come and take your food away. So eat fast. – The fear of not being able to have a meal.
- Hey, if you do not sleep on time at night after the lights are turned off, the ghosts will come and scare you. – The fear of an unknown face who will harm us.
- Hey, if you do not study, you will fail and will have to land up on the pavement as a beggar. – The fear of not being able to achieve definite goals in life.
The list of fear factors set into our system is never-ending. It’s no crime to have our fears. It’s important not to let the fears get the better of us. Why is darkness connected to evil? Why is failure connected to you being worthless? Darkness leads to light, and your worth is for you to discover. Slowly, gradually, just by being yourself. Just by sinking into your own skin.
Well, then I often wondered what if the child did not have even have one proper meal to eat in a day? What if there was no roof over the head and life was uncertain 24×7? What if the child is deprived of any education and instead forced to beg for a living?
Fears and uncertainties loom large, but nothing should take away the will to live the life we have. A year into what the fear factors tried to tell me, scare me, did only one thing…face fear bang on. Punch it right in the face. I was unconsciously letting the insecurities set in, it’s not that the fears don’t bug me anymore. But one shivering moment when my body and mind is on the verge of collapsing, I just take a U-turn. I tell myself, I have to accept it. I have to dominate the one who’s trying to kill me from inside rather than letting it play those stupid mind games with me. Closing doors and living inside a dark room is no crime. A pinch of patience and accepting the worst happening unfolds the way to unopened doors and take charge. Not as a whole, but just one moment at a time. Hold on, we have to do that. Don’t Stop. Even in your sleep. Your worth is important to yourself.
Upalparna Dey is not just a writer but one of the best editors. She is that person who does not skip a chance when it comes to extending a helping hand. Her modern mindset combined with her emotional heart makes her one of the best friends you can rely on. When she is not writing or editing, she spends her time taking pleasure in reading classics and savouring the brevity of Somerset Maugham’s intellect.
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